Effective Communication

June is Effective Communications Month. Communicating is key to building and maintaining relationships with others. So much can go into effective communication and it’s easy to get misunderstood. Check out these tips to up your effective communication this month!

1. Consider Context

Ever heard of the saying, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it?” Most of the time, this couldn’t be more true! So much more goes into communication than just our words. To truly have effective communication, we must consider things like our tone of voice, body language, and even the medium through which we communicate. (This week is also “Email Week” but let’s be mindful of those important conversations that should be held in person versus a hastily written email.) Are all of these things helping or hindering the message I’m trying to get across?

2. Active Listening

“HELLO??? Are you even listening to me?” I know I’m not the only one who has ever thought that in the middle of talking to someone. Active listening can make a huge difference in making the other person feel heard and understood. Active listening can include being present and putting away any distractions. Small verbal cues such as “mhmm” or “yeah” can also show you’re listening. Nonverbal clues like eye contact or  head nods can also be helpful.

3. Reflections

Another part of active listening can be the use of reflections. Reflections are a way to check for understanding by recapping what the other person said. By using your own words you can review the main points of what the other person is trying to say. Reflections can start off with: “I hear you saying…” “It sounds like…” “You’re saying that…” Then, the other person has the opportunity to clarify further or confirm your reflection.

4. I Statements

During heated discussions, it’s easy to switch into “blame mode.” Arguments are rarely resolved with strings of “You said this…” or “You did that…” Instead, try using “I” statements to communicate how you feel without playing the blame game. “I” statements can go like this: “I feel [emotion word] when [problem/situation].” Sharing how you feel about a stressful situation allows you to take responsibility for your own feelings. “I feel upset when the dishes don’t get loaded in the dishwasher” often goes over better than, “You don’t ever put the dishes in the dishwasher!”